a patchwork piece.

A Patchwork piece:

April 2010:

“Yet she sits, thinks,

And makes a sorry attempt

To discover who she is.

Without thinking of the One who knows

Her best.

Forgive me, Lord.”

“We yield because you, beyond us, are our God.

We are your creatures met by your holiness,

by your holiness made our true selves.

And we yield.”

December 2010:

“I need hard facts. Give me the source. Please spare me the flowery words that arouse my emotions. I’ll even leave music at the door. Just give me Jesus.

I want to really know Him.

Good-person.  Virgin-birthed. The center of theological debate.

Please, People.

There’s so much more to it than that.

I’m just beginning to unravel it.”

April 2011:

“Give me vision.

I see a sewer filled pond.

            You see a lake.

I see a lost little girl.

            You see a woman of potential.”

June 2011:

“I realize that I have trust issues, and I unfairly attribute these to the Lord. I fear that things won’t work out for me. That my dreams aren’t valued enough in His eyes. That my ideas aren’t worth much, and that I won’t feel or experience His fullness the way others claim to experience it.”

August 2011:

“There are times where I could write a love song about you.”

August 2011:

“Love must be done.”

December 2011:

“Part of me is annoyed at the pace of this season

While part of me appreciates lingering

…I usually have a hard time closing books when the plot still intrigues me.”

I've been sifting through my old files and random unfinished songs, poems and thoughts, trying to relate to where I was.  To be honest, some of them are terrible writing and a little too vulnerable for my comfort level. 

but I remember exactly who I was in each of these...and I find myself smiling in relief.

I don’t know her any longer. 

This year I found him,

and upon truly encountering the person of the Holy Spirit,

I don’t want to live another day without him. 

Not one.

July 2012