a patchwork piece.

A Patchwork piece:

April 2010:

“Yet she sits, thinks,

And makes a sorry attempt

To discover who she is.

Without thinking of the One who knows

Her best.

Forgive me, Lord.”

“We yield because you, beyond us, are our God.

We are your creatures met by your holiness,

by your holiness made our true selves.

And we yield.”

December 2010:

“I need hard facts. Give me the source. Please spare me the flowery words that arouse my emotions. I’ll even leave music at the door. Just give me Jesus.

I want to really know Him.

Good-person.  Virgin-birthed. The center of theological debate.

Please, People.

There’s so much more to it than that.

I’m just beginning to unravel it.”

April 2011:

“Give me vision.

I see a sewer filled pond.

            You see a lake.

I see a lost little girl.

            You see a woman of potential.”

June 2011:

“I realize that I have trust issues, and I unfairly attribute these to the Lord. I fear that things won’t work out for me. That my dreams aren’t valued enough in His eyes. That my ideas aren’t worth much, and that I won’t feel or experience His fullness the way others claim to experience it.”

August 2011:

“There are times where I could write a love song about you.”

August 2011:

“Love must be done.”

December 2011:

“Part of me is annoyed at the pace of this season

While part of me appreciates lingering

…I usually have a hard time closing books when the plot still intrigues me.”

I've been sifting through my old files and random unfinished songs, poems and thoughts, trying to relate to where I was.  To be honest, some of them are terrible writing and a little too vulnerable for my comfort level. 

but I remember exactly who I was in each of these...and I find myself smiling in relief.

I don’t know her any longer. 

This year I found him,

and upon truly encountering the person of the Holy Spirit,

I don’t want to live another day without him. 

Not one.

July 2012

sappy stuff.

I’d be lying if I said I was completely satisfied with my writing skills in this particular blog entry. I’m definitely a “words” person, but it seems I can never pick the best words to say what I want to say at the right time. Later, at the most inopportune time, those words will all come to me, and I’ll have to talk to myself and resist the urge to completely change this. But I’m telling myself the point of this blog is simply to let a few people know how much they mean to me, and “Allyson, no one really cares if you used the word “shaping” or “determining”. (that was me talking to myself…)

So, on to it…

This year has been one of the most “shaping” years of my life. I don’t know how else to say it.

I started thinking about some beautiful people that have definitely played a part in this shifting that took place within me this year, and I felt the need to thank them. This was the best way I knew how…




My beautiful sister. She got married about a month ago to this ridiculously great guy.
I can’t put it into words (go figure), but I tried to put it into song once. Take a listen if you didn’t already. So Ames and Joel, thank you for teaching me the beauty of true love and joy with one another this year.

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My parents. I saw this quote on a card in a quaint little shop in St. Augustine the other day, and me, being the cheapo that I am, decided to take a picture of it rather than buy it. (Just in case I needed use of it any time soon)

I guess this is me “using” it.

“The truth is. Even if she weren’t my Mom I would go out of my way to be friends with her.” (Let’s go ahead and apply this one to dad too.)


This year that unexpected thing happened. That thing that people always tell you will happen one day… except, you never believe it when your young and full of teenage angst towards the people that love you the most, simply because you can’t go to so-and-so’s house or to what’s his face’s party. You don’t want to hear it then…

But. It’s absolutely true.

Your parents can become your friends.
And mine, have become some of my closest.



My Unveiled family. I could go on for days. I’ve never felt such love and freedom in a place of ministry. Truly. (And I’ve grown up around ministry…) I love you guys. (I couldn't find a picture to capture all of us at our best, so don't feel unappreciated if you're not pictured. Cuz that's just not the truth.)




My NC family. I will always claim to be from the South simply because I want people to know I am connected with you people. You know who you are. Any time I take anyone “home”, they tell me I have some of the rarest/best friends. I always reply with, “I know.”











My Dive Sisters, Rita, and Anthony. (Tiffany too!) You guys broke off every negative misconception I had built up of women in ministry. (And believe me, I had a few…) I think the world of all of you. I’ve crafted more songs than ever because of the encouragement you all threw on me.
















My Diddi. (Crystal) We traveled the world together. Cried together. Laughed at men with red thongs sticking out of their dad jeans together. You’re my big sister. I believe I can do almost anything if you think I can.









My Florida friends. (And yes, some of you have moved away and such)You know who you are. I’m getting emotional just typing this…so I’m just gonna stop typing and post some pictures, since my eyes are a bit cloudy at the moment. You guys…awwe shucks…well yeah…


Here goes…


















And that's all I've got, folks.
Just been doing some analyzing, and I think I agree with this somewhat cheesy quote on friendship:

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

And grateful I am...

if you wear green, i'll wear green.

Today I woke up wanting to go back in time.

I could change a few things there.

Put a few things back together.

Leave that scene before I said too much.

Be a little less vulnerable on that Tuesday.

Less hurtful on that Friday.

I’d linger on that bench just long enough for you to get the courage to speak what you wanted to say that one night.

That one night when the moon was mockingly bigger than most nights. When my favorite candy was your favorite candy. And we’d laugh at the same jokes as we sat side by side confused at our chance meeting there in matching color schemes.

But I didn’t notice it then.

This time I’d listen to you.

I'd listen well.

car talk.

Poetry tends to come to me at the most inconvenient of times. Take what you will of this. Tomorrow I probably will find something wrong with it.


And I’m sitting in my car.

Yes, before I know it, I’m sitting here.

In my car.

Engine off.

Door open.
Just enough to blanket the dead silence from within
By allowing a couple of finches to share their comments on the cheek of the moon.
"My, how he’s drawing attention to his figure tonight."

I am alone now.
I am alone now.

And I am sitting in my car.
And I can finally hear it:

The steady sound of my heartbeat in perfect rhythm to the pace of his tread.

And before I know it,

I’m still sitting here.

In my car

Realizing that has to mean something.

he knows what he's doing.

You know,

That 8th grade party you were once dying to go, and mom and dad so humiliatingly said no. I mean, gosh, your reputation was at hand. How dare they.

Later on you found out the importance of you not being there.

You know,

Those desires and places in life you were once dying to go, and God so humiliatingly said no. I mean, gosh, your reputation was at hand. How dare He.

Later on you found out the importance of you not being there.

doing love.

“The truth is, love was never just intended to be, it was intended to do. DC Talk had it right when they wrote the song “Love Is a Verb” (or rather, “luv”). That’s the truth.

Frankly, it’s the hardest verb you will ever do. It’s a verb that requires a selflessness and altruism beyond any other experience on earth. It’s a verb that is not always felt but must always be chosen. It is a commitment to do what is right, even though the one standing before you may be entirely undeserving.”

I won’t lie. I’m a big fan of those initial feelings one feels when they’re first “falling”.
But when those feelings are not at their peak and the person you’re committed to says something with a little less tact than usual,

Love must be done.

I’ve also heard these words from a dad who counseled married couples for years, and from my parents’ example, I’ll never forget to look past the emotions of it all and experience what it means to do love.

Might as well start practicing.

pandas and punctuation.

For all of you that make fun of my constant “grammar-Nazi-like” habits, stop reading now.


The rest of you, get ready for a nerdy English teacher read.

My mom just loaned me a book entitled Eats, Shoots and Leaves: the Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, and I am in love with the title alone.

I promise I’ll prove my point and be done.

Watch this.

So if a panda bear eats shoots and leaves…

Well sure, the panda has a pretty basic bear-like diet, and I’m a little bored out of my mind.

But, if a panda bear eats, shoots and leaves, well…
Let’s just ask ourselves who the victim of this unusual homicide might be. ☺


Anyhow, maybe Becky Renko will appreciate this.